It's 2am. I'm a little bit crazy to still be awake.
Yep.
I hate being awake alone at night.
It gives me the shivers.
But what to do, I can't fall asleep due to some chemical problem in my body =.=
Missing him badly =(
He fell asleep while we were smsing. Sigh.
3 more subjects to go.
After that? What's life's aim?
I'm not sure =(
The only thing I know is, I WANNA WORK IN McD or SUSHI KING xD
LOL. Told this plan to mum already xD
She approved, I think =)

Some things are just meant to be.
What will happen?
You just wait and see.
Sometimes you know that it is going to happen.
Now, tomorrow or the week after does not even matter.
Just be ready and accept all that happens.

169 days had passed and I'm still loving you like the first time I fell for you =)

I'm a happy girl in a happy world =)

Back to blogging life again..
SPM examination days had been super boring x_X

Overview
Everything was OKAY xD
Quoted from xCm - It's fun to see everyone around you PANIC xD
Everyone was going mad about addmaths the other day xD
Okay, so 7 subjects down, 3 more to go.
Don't know why, there weren't any adrenaline rush in any of our body.
So we basically went through everyday like normal.

Fun at Lynnie Lynn's house
On Wednesday, after Addmaths 1, Brig, Gin and I went to Lynn's house.
First reason, we had no where to hang out.
Second reason, the weather was freaking HAWT!
Third reason, brig wanted to check her PLKN thingy.
Ended up going on to facebook and checking out pictures =.=
So Brig and I kept introducing guys that we think has the LOOKS.
Yay yay, they said Alex was cute.
And now Lynn is a friend of Alex in facebook.
Gin and Lynn fought over Alex xD
That was what Brig, Asha, Mabel, Frances and I did last year x_X
Anyway, then Lynn on-ned Pandora and made her character look sexy by removing all her clothes and show us how she her cape could fly xD
3o minutes before going back to school, we realised that we weren't any good in Addmaths, so we took the real Addmaths's book and open it xD
Gin was already doing latihan that time. She's a guddy good girl xD
Thanks a lot for lending your house to us Lynn =)

Fun at xCm's house =)
It was one day before Addmaths's paper, Tuesday.
Mel and I went to xCm's house.
First reason, study Addmaths.
Second reason, BISCUIT!!!!
xD xD xD xD
We did some latihan.
Played with biscuit xD
Then xCm checked my PLKN thingy for me.
Ish!! 2nd or 3rd batch =.=
Hate it man.
They say people that attitude bad won't go first batch.
Gosh, I think I'm a bad girl xD
Then we opened The Sims 3 T.T
But I couldn't play T.T
Arggghhhh, I wanna play the Sims 3 so badly!!!
Then after that cm's mum gave mel and I one tortoise taste jelly 0.o
It was so so so so bitter x_X
Thanks mel for helping me finish it =D
After Mel went home, cm continue teaching me application of differentiation.
Thanks cm for lending your house =)

So that's all for this week.
=)

After having a heartbreaking day in school, it's still not enough.
I had to come home and get insulted.
Being asked to eat shit and being called as stupid.
I know now that there's no place for me to go anymore.
I'm starting to hate school, glad that it will be over in 6 more days.
Hate being at home, I get insults everyday.
Not that I contribute anything.
Even if I die today, I have no regrets.
I tried to smile every second I could.
But I fail, everytime I tried.
I'm not smart, I know.
Who doesn't?!
I know I will not get straight A's.
Who doesn't?
So why do I even bother to open the damn book and study?
All I wanted was to be appreciated by friends and family.
Why doesn't anyone appreciate me?
It's like I'm invisible.
I don't wanna live on this stupid earth anymore.
This is stupid.
My existance is stupid.
Why am I even born?
I shouldn't be here.
My parents was suppose to get a perfect child.
Or my brother should be the only smart child.
Mum always say he was the smart one and that I was dumb.
So why did she even let me get into this world?
She should have killed me or ask the doctor to poison me.
Okay, wait, she didn't wanna sin, I know.
So why not I just kill myself?
Let me sin.
Let me be the bad girl and go to hell.
Who cares?!
I hate myself.
I don't wanna get straight A's anymore.
I want my parents' love.
I want friends.
I want my good brother back.
I'm losing everyone around me.

So this is how it ends.
It's my heart that is broken.
I thought the friendship was true.
I thought I won your heart.
I blame 'it' for everything.
Thanks for the memory though.
All ships in the world sinks.
Even friendship.
It's the weirdest feeling when we know something that everyone has already knew and we're the last person among our friends to get to know it.
Wahahaha..
It makes me feel unimportant, useless and not a good friend.
Just trying hard not to think about it.
It doesn't really mean anything right?
The only important thing now is I LOVE MYSELF.
Whether any other people love me, it doesn't really matter anymore.
Everyone changes.
One day one friend can come up to you and say, "dude, you're my best friend and smiles at you"
The next day, he/she could just walk pass you and ignore you.

When your friends need you, they would put up a smile...When you're not in use, they will put you aside..

Smiles =)
This is what we, SPM-ers need now.
I'm sure the pressure has gotten into all of us.
Striving to do our best in the coming exam that opens the doorway to our future.
Whether your hopes, dreams and ambition are about to come true.
It all comes to this.
9 days or 10 days of examination.
And then, out of secondary school, into college, A level or even working days for some of us.
It's your future, you decide.
You wanna live a life filled with difficulty or a life that is easy?
You decide.

Just here to give encouragement to all sitting for SPM and also STPM =)
Stay happy as always, do not pressure yourself too much.

Remember OUR aim :

Yesh! No more A1. It's A+ now!!
Good Luck peeps!!









Signing out. Peace out~
Will be back in 3 weeks =)

I'm a Rudolph, I know.
Everyone knows.
Well, think positively, if I'm a Rudolph, I have the ability to guide people in darkness.
Wait, I'm born with a negative brain. A pessimist.
Trying hard to accept the fact that I'm ugly.
Why am I born this way?
Maybe teasing is entertaining for people.
I hate myself, hate how I look and hate what I do.
I don't think my confidence level will ever rise...
Will just go back to living my ugly life and being my ugly self.
Thanks people, for accepting me as a friend, no matter how ugly I am.

I can't believe I abandoned my blog again x_X

Sigh. SPM is coming nearer.
School days are ENDING!
No more waking up early in the morning, complaining about every shyt we have to deal with in school and end up missing it =(
Today had ceramah for Chemistry and Physics.
Of all people, I kena tegur. SE-WET betul man!
I guess I really changed a lot x_X
Good also larh.
Get noticed by teachers =)
Anyway, there's nothing much I wanna update about.
Hypothesis of my last experiment was accepted =)

Anyway, who in the world does not like new things?
Everyone, okay, 1/10 of humans will abandon their old stuff when they have new stuff right?
Hmm..
There's so much in my but its so freaking hard to express it in blog nowadays.
Rather not make it public.
Good luck to all sitting for end year examinations and also SPM =)
And STPM too of course!
Computer is the only distraction I have at home.
And facebook is the main culprit =.=
Lalala..studying hard for SPM =)