Saturday, February 22, 2014

Stages in life.

It has been quite some time since I last seen your face.
And the feelings I have towards you seems to slowly fade.
I always try my best to bump into you but I guess we do not have fate.

Call me crazy, call me silly.
But we all know that love is blind and humans fall in love very easily.

It has been more than a month.
The college is so freaking small but still we never meet.
Well, life goes on.

Saturday, February 08, 2014

Can you live in TAR College without Mandarin?

First of all, I come from the Kebangsaan(national) school.
I actually learnt Mandarin in Tadika but I guess I gave it all back to my Mandarin language teacher?
Well, during primary school I don't know if I know or don't know Mandarin because I basically speak Bahasa Melayu in school.
We don't even speak English to each other.
That's why my English is so-so only.
And that is the reason why my brother and I ended up using BM as our language of communication.
Every time we spoke to each other, my relatives would go like "Eh, you orang Melayu ka? Can speak English or Chinese to each other ah?".
But it was difficult to change :P
So until now we still communicate in BM, but here and there there would bound to be some mixture of English, Cantonese and Hokkien :D 
Typical Malaysian :)

Oh ya, moreover, I was the only Moral student in my class and even the other 8 Moral students in my batch used BM as their main language too.
My school was really into "Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa".
Anyone that said a single word in English would be teased and it goes like this - "Eleh, speaking speaking pula!"
So that was primary school.
No doubt the BEST primary school ever, despite it being in a kampung and most of the students were not great achievers back then and are extremely naughty.
Oh, and my school was beside a Muslim graveyard so we got to watch Muslim funeral and how they bury the body live!
& morning school is not very fun when your class is on the top floor and right at the back.
They don't on the building lights in the morning and when you reach early and you wanna put your bag in class before assembly, you just gotta take the risk!
This involves a lot of imagination and RUNNING.

Anyway, back to the main point - Mandarin.
Then when I went to secondary school, got to mix with some English speaking pupils from other primary school and my secondary school life was basically 60% English and 40% BM.
I actually tried telling a short story in Mandarin when I was in Form 3 but a short story ended up being super long and draggy.
After that I gave up trying to speak Mandarin.
It was really tiring to try to even pronounce the word properly.
And then there is so much translation that had to be done in my mind before speaking.
I just couldn't make it.
The worst part was that due to the difficulty, all my sentences did not have expressions.
When I spoke in Mandarin, I became an expressionless freak.
So just live with English and BM.
BM was the easiest to express my feelings.
Words that would come out of my mouth when I am:
Angry - Babi
Sad - Babi
Jealous - Babi
Disappointed - Babi
Basically the word Babi (pig) can be used for nearly every feeling and occasions. 

For English, most of my peers used the F word but I always stick to my principle of never using the F word.
I don't really like people using that word but I am not against people using it.

Then finally I graduated from SPM and went into TAR College which I did not see a Chinese Tsunami ahead.
The reason I chose TARC was because of the reasonable fees as I was not sure what I wanted to study.
& I had limited time to think as I was chosen for the second batch of National Service and would not be in KL to do any application.
So after NS, I went straight into TARC and everyone around me started speaking Mandarin like no ones business.
I was like "Babi, where am I?".
Most of the time I felt discriminated and thus I isolate myself.

I actually went back and cried during the first few semesters.
Okay, when I say first few, I meant first and second semester.
The frequency and lifestyle was soooooooo different that I felt that I was the weird one.
To make it worse, we had so many group assignments and during discussions, my teammates would all speak in Mandarin and I would not understand what they are trying to discuss about and I would just sit and do nothing.
The worst was when we had this subject called Entrepreneurship and we were suppose to come up with a business proposal and we were discussing on creating a new product.
Teammates actually presented their ideas in Mandarin and I don't know what the heck product it was and how does it function.

Of course I did not withdraw from my course just because there was a language barrier.
Instead, I took it as a challenge.
It wasn't an immediate decision because at first I was an extremist in the "ANTI-MANDARIN ACT".
I hated people who speaks Mandarin.
I hated typical Chinese.
I hated when people spoke Mandarin in front of me.
How they laughed at me because I am English educated.

But bla bla bla..
That is what all or maybe most of the English educated students will go through in TARC, unless you get a gang that is all English educated.
But then your life wouldn't be as challenging as the ones that suffered like me! :D
It would definitely be the same if you were to get offered a job to work in China, Hong Kong, Korea, Japan or even France.
They are proud of their national language they don't give a damn who you are or where you are from.
You don't speak my language, you don't talk to me.
Going into TARC is basically the same as stepping into a foreign country, at least for me.

But anyway, it is a good experience to be put in a place where you are actually forced or pressure-driven to learn a new language.
I actually took up Mandarin for Beginners classes.
TARC offers it at a lower price compared to other institutions.
So, no harm trying it out :)
For beginners, it was more towards listening and speaking skills rather than writing and reading.
For now I can understand normal conversations and speak Mandarin but with limited vocabulary.
But as long as I am still breathing, I am still learning :)

At times I still feel like an outcast when everyone speaks Mandarin but I ignore the want to be in isolation again.
I just try my best to understand what is going on and act and think positively :)
Now I can actually read and write a little bit.
Not much but it still is a milestone.
Sometimes when I go for karaoke sessions, I can read from the screen and sing instead of memorizing although memorizing is much simpler.

Oh btw, singing Mandarin songs do help too at times.
Unless you are singing JJ Lin's songs because some of his lyrics are quite poetic?
I don't know, but there is this one song of his where I actually learnt how to sing it in early secondary school and was able to memorize the whole song but I only got to know the meaning of the lyrics last year.

If you ask me, I did not regret going to TARC.
Helped me learn a new language and meet different types of people.

Can you live in TARC without Mandarin?
Of course you can.
If you do not want to learn Mandarin and want to stick to your principle of Mandarin is useless, I'd rather stick with using English only.
Then go ahead.
There is no harm to that too.
But you are losing a great chance to learn.
Why not make all the mistakes you can make in college, get laughed at in college rather than losing an opportunity to work in China because you don't know Mandarin?

Internship has also gave me a chance to put into practice what I have learnt throughout my Diploma years.
No, I am not talking about Accounting wise.
I am talking about my Mandarin.
I actually spoke Mandarin during my internship with my other intern friends and some did not even know I was an English educated person until someone told them!
Cool eh?
Another milestone achieved!

And don't get fooled by people that tell you students in other universities and colleges in Malaysia uses English more than Mandarin.
Most of the Chinese in other colleges uses Mandarin as well.
But that does not mean they are not good in English.

In conclusion, don't let the environment break you, instead, use it to build you.

Btw, nowadays I don't use the word Babi that often, I have changed it to Sambal Belacan.
Sorry pigs, for using you all these years.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014


The main reason I turned my computer on was to watch Escape Plan.
I on my computer at 10+ and now it is 12.40am and I have not even searched for the movie yet.
Even watch movie also slack.

Anyway, I've decided not to skip classes to go Johor.

& I know I have been delaying my posts :\
Too many holidays make people lazy :D
& hungry?

Have been eating a lot lesser this Chinese New Year compared to last year?
Because last year CNY I was in Penang.
Penang is basically a food paradise.
How can you not eat like a pig there?

And so, I spent CNY in KL which is the least "lau juak" place in Malaysia.
Everyone basically go back to their hometown but hey, KL is my hometown :D
I don't need to balik kampung, I am in my kampung everyday :D

BUT, boring.
See North, see South, see East, see West, all also everyday see.
Nothing new.
Nothing interesting.

Except the part where I get to meet my relatives, both mum side and dad side.
Basically CNY was so so.

No pictures this CNY. *facepalm

Too lazy to even snap pictures.

Back to college tomorrow.