Thursday, November 19, 2009

After having a heartbreaking day in school, it's still not enough.
I had to come home and get insulted.
Being asked to eat shit and being called as stupid.
I know now that there's no place for me to go anymore.
I'm starting to hate school, glad that it will be over in 6 more days.
Hate being at home, I get insults everyday.
Not that I contribute anything.
Even if I die today, I have no regrets.
I tried to smile every second I could.
But I fail, everytime I tried.
I'm not smart, I know.
Who doesn't?!
I know I will not get straight A's.
Who doesn't?
So why do I even bother to open the damn book and study?
All I wanted was to be appreciated by friends and family.
Why doesn't anyone appreciate me?
It's like I'm invisible.
I don't wanna live on this stupid earth anymore.
This is stupid.
My existance is stupid.
Why am I even born?
I shouldn't be here.
My parents was suppose to get a perfect child.
Or my brother should be the only smart child.
Mum always say he was the smart one and that I was dumb.
So why did she even let me get into this world?
She should have killed me or ask the doctor to poison me.
Okay, wait, she didn't wanna sin, I know.
So why not I just kill myself?
Let me sin.
Let me be the bad girl and go to hell.
Who cares?!
I hate myself.
I don't wanna get straight A's anymore.
I want my parents' love.
I want friends.
I want my good brother back.
I'm losing everyone around me.

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