Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Today mum woke me up to puii her go get her new motor. Yup, brand new one. And that free helmet is OWNED by me! ^^
Only got black and blue, so I took the black. I thought had pink =x =x
After back, I spend my whole day watching ANTM AGAIN! LOL
Watch till the latest episode dy. So need to wait till they upload the next episode. Well, I got another show to watch. Amazing Race! =)

Recently I have been in a nutshell. It's either I don't wanna get involve in everything else moving around me or people just stop telling me what's happening. In my case, I don't wanna move out of my place. These few days, self conscious really got me thinking.
I keep thinking everyone else is stronger than me. Everything just brings me down and tear me apart like I'm a fragile glass or a piece of paper.
Shyt, being emotional is so not me. I'm suppose to be stronger, way stronger than this like myself outside. I always tell myself like what others would say, STOP this crap. Sitting and crying doesn't get you anywhere. If you wanna solve this prob, get your ass off the chair and face it like a strong person. Don't let all these things bring tears to you and frown to your everyday life.
Get a life! One thing for sure, I'm sick of love songs. I hate everything that is happening around me. Everything is so negative.
Exams are like shyt. Holidays? I'm often alone at home. I feel so out when friends talk bout guys. I feel sad when I get insulted, so easily. Damn, I'm tearing apart. Wheres the felicia we all use to know that would laugh her lungs out. Is it stress that I'm feeling? Or it is just normal depression young teenage girls go through?
Why do negative thoughts run through my head when I'm sitting alone in front of the pc/laptop. I hate emo posts. It's November already. Next year is SPM year. I have to really learn to cope with everything and still stay stronger as days pass. I cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot count on anyone anymore. As I grow, slowly I have to take care of my parents. Not them who is the people that will be taking care of me. Grow up girl. You are no more that small girl you think you were.
Maybe you're right. Its just an emo cycle. By tomorrow, everything will go back to normal and I would be laughing my lungs out again. Well, hopefully. And I would like to know that I'm okay that time. I love being in school with these bunch of crazy friends laughing and teasing each other together. Being at home, thinking bout everything breaks me.
Angry? Is angry even in the dictionary of felicia? Haha. Angry is never part of my emotion. Don't know why. I hardly get angry at anyone. Its either I like it or I just hate it. But even if I hate it, you wouldn't know cause its never ever slipping out from my mouth. I find it hard to disagree with what others say. Unless you're a close friend of mine.
Walao, I'm like writting a damn essay -.-
Ever heard of coincidence? Hmm, this morning I look at the time and it's written 11.11am. Then just now I look at the time, it was written 3.33, now I look, 4.44 -.-ll
Gila wan. Haha. Been happening since last month.
You know sometimes people like to make conclusion without even asking. Sigh, hate it. But its true. Hmm, I do make conclusion sometimes without asking. And I know how that suck -.-
Haha. My main weakness now is thinking too negatively and self conscious. Argh, its killing me!

No comments: