Today's schedule was real tight...
In de morning went for church den SS den my grandma's hse...
den rush home to go for cpt ball practise...
haiz...tiring larh..
Ytd one of my fren ask me...y ur blog got so much secrets...when in skol u don even talk bout it..
My reply to her was...its not a secret actually...im a kind of gurl dat if u don ask i wont tell...cos i know being sad at sumthing is rely a waste of time...today in church i learnt dat in life there is no PAUSE button...so live it to de fullest if can...who knows tmr u mite not b alive anymore...
I went to my grandma's hse today...she told me n my mum everything dat happen to her n her siblings....i felt sad at dat moment..haiz...all tis while i duno wat happened to them larh...haiz...
Well...don care larh....another thing to fan about...my church!! haiz...black n white...wats dat larh???
haiz...u don let me join church games juz cos of dat?? haiz...de story began 2 years ago...i wasn't chosen for de church netball group...was kinda disapointed...de reason - cos im short!!
den one day tis women in de group fell n hurt her leg...she was badly injured so i was in de group larh...so since den almost everyday v had practises...played at nite....even when de sun wasn't up...was a tiring week b4 de games...
so den came de real game...everyone joyfully entered de bus to go to seremban if im not mistaken...so v reach de place...found a nice seat for all de supporters n players...
game after game started n ended...i was all de while sitting in de supporters seat when my name was in de players list...all de while i was thinking when do i get to play den sudd de coach called my name...felicia go in n play....so den i happily walk in de court n started playing...trying to play my best din care about any injuries i mite face ahead....there was it...v won dat game...den again i was in de supporters seat again...waiting for my second turn...when there wasn't even another turn for me...stupidly waiting for sumthing dat wasn't even there....haiz...
den when i return home i told my mum everything...actually i din mind dat i only played half a game although there was lik 7 games if im not mistaken...but sumhow deep in my heart there was tis not satisfied feeling...my mum she influence me telling...yea larh all oh hia...where wil let us play de...all also their own ppl play de larh...den since den in church i have tis hatred towards dem...i duno y...since den i seldom go for netball practises...haiz...i duno y all her words seem to have a lot of effect towards me..haiz...den now de thing dat i fan about iss....sandra ask me wanna enter netball or football for goodwill games...my interest is surely in netball but i know eventhough my name wil b in de player list but surely wont get to play...cos i havent grow an inches since de last time...so i only can enter football...haiz...im so confused larh....my mum encourages me more to join BB activities den my church activities...church too many conflict jorh...haiz..
My life is now at a junction...its whether go left which means making my own decision or right which is my parents' decision...i have too many choices in life making me feel lik sumthin without an option is way better!! haiz...decisions make me confuse...
No comments:
Post a Comment